In a world with so many coulds, shoulds and wants, how do you know how to select what's best for you?  In this 3 Step Training, you learn how to define the 3 most important, and enduring, measures of success for you.  After this exercise, you'll never forget the phrase "I know I am being successful by..."  

This 3 Step Training is one of our most popular, by coaches and clients alike.  

What does Defining Success mean?
It means that you have identified the 3 key relationships, things, or other elements of life that that are most important to you in your life at this time.  These 3 items can be things like “The love I experience from my wife.” to “How creative I’m being.”  The idea of defining success may sound pretty obvious to you, but there is a subtlety to this process that you’ll learn about in just a moment.

What seems to be true about the notion of defining success?
Until you take the time to define success for yourself, it is most likely being defined by others, your culture, the past, hope or advertising.
Only you can truly define success for yourself.  And, you can use feedback from others to help you articulate your 3 success definitions.
These success definitions set you free to enjoy life completely; they do not define you or box you in.  Rather, they release you from priorities that are not relevant or that meaningful.

Why is it beneficial for me to define success?
Given the number of influences, past and present, that one is subjected to, it’s very helpful to know what’s most important to you.  This, so that you don’t get seduced or distracted by the demands of others, your job, advertising or other sources which will tend to define what’s important to you if you haven’t taken the opportunity to define yourself first.

The 3 Steps
How do I define success for myself?  There are 3 steps...

Step 1.  Ask yourself this question.

I know I am being successful by... [fill in the blank here]

It’s very important that you use the exact sentence structure and words that you see above because this sets you up to articulate more clearly how you not only define success but how you know you’re being success at any given moment.  See, we promised you a subtlety and that is it.

Step 2. Tweak your 3 responses until they resonate.

You'll know that a success definition is phrased well when you feel a tingle in your body, or the light bulb goes on or you feel otherwise excited.  Not feeling that way yet?  Not to worry.  This exercise is new for most people and it may take a couple days of tinkering with your success definitions before they zing.  And they will.  You will also find yourself thinking about success as you are redefining it; that is good!  If you are truly stuck and just can't find resonating definitions, then simply start over and pick totally different ones.  This, because sometimes people confuse what they should or could want for their success definitions with what they really, really want.

Step 3.  Notice the tugs you feel.

As you feel your success definitions resonating over the coming weeks, notice the way it tugs at you to make small, or perhaps significant, changes in your life. You’ll catch yourself fairly quickly when you feel pulled away from your definitions.  You’ll find it easier to say no to people or situations that just don’t fit anymore with what is most important to you.  It's up to you if you want to make these changes right now, but at least you'll know what your body and heart are suggesting. 

  Examples
Here are some Strong (S) Weak (W) examples of definitions of success.  What makes an example strong is that it resonates with you, instead of just describing something important to you.  Give the phrasing a twist until it zings for you.  Can't make it zing?  Then select something entirely different for one of your success definitions.

S: I know I am being successful by how much I am enjoying my creativity.
W: I know I am being successful by how creative I am.

S: I know I am being successful by how much I am being nurtured by my relationship with God.
W: I know I am being successful by how much I believe in God.

S: I know I am being successful by how nice of a person I’m being no matter what.
W: I know I am being successful by how often I am nice.

  Defining Success Worksheet

  I know I am being successful by...

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  I know I am being successful by... 

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I know I am being successful by... 

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