E- Zine - August 2006



Tips to Outclass Your Competition - Six conversational mistakes to avoid.

According to a survey conducted by Loren Ekroth over a 20-year span, the six top conversational mistakes identified by professionals and business people are:
  1. Blabber mouthing. Talking too much, way out of balance, going on and on without giving others their turn.
  2. Me-toos. You say, “I saw a great movie last weekend…” and the listener says, “Oh, I saw a movie too… and begins to describe it. This will drive people away.
  3. Unsolicited advice. Professional know-it-alls are quick to give inappropriate advice as soon as you mention a problem or issue.
  4. Interrupting. Like children vying for attention, interrupters jump in before you’ve finished – giving unsolicited opinions.
  5. Contradicting. The “Yes, but …” is one of the ultimate conversation blockers that will shut down a conversation. If you feel heard and understood, you are more likely to listen to others and their views.
  6. Stingy contributor. Shows very little interest, offers no useful information. This causes an out-of-balance conversation and real trust can’t be established.
The next time you notice someone making a conversation mistake, ask yourself “Do I do that?”

Your people skills are the most important skills you have and contribute to about 85% of your success. If you want to learn the elements of making a favorable impression so you can always be at your best, call 405-341-3216 and beat your Competition to the Bottom Line.

The Coach’s Corner – Boundaries are NOT rejections.

Insanity – Doing the same thing over and over, expecting to get a different result. I recently led a tele-class that had specific objectives. When the callers came to the call, they asked if we could take some time to answer questions. I agreed, yet at the same time, was uncomfortable we were deviating from the “agenda.” I squirmed a little, but went with the flow of the group. The call ended an hour and one half later, and we never covered the “agenda.” But who’s agenda was it, theirs or mine? They were fine with the change. I eventually gave up the “I have a plan” agenda, and stopped fighting to stay on track. They needed something else from me, and from our totally unplanned conversation, many helpful ideas were generated. We will be back on track next week with a much better plan. It’s difficult to relinquish control of habits, but sometimes change and riding the wave of uncertainty leads to bigger and better things.

Coaching questions:
  • Where have I been doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result?
  • What is the result I do want?
  • What have I done to get this result?
  • Is it working?
  • What are the alternatives I can consider to get this result?
  • What fun things can I do to start thinking of change as fun? (Examples: brush your teeth comb your hair, or answer your phone with your “other” hand. Have breakfast for dinner or dessert before dinner. Switch roles with someone for a day – or just an hour. When something/someone irritates you, say “thank you.”)

    See yourself as flexible this week making as many fun and silly changes as you want. If you are stuck in the muck of “certainty” and it is not getting you want you want, a coach can help you experiment with your “flexibility factor” so you can get the results you want. Call today for your no-obligation, coaching session. This 30-minute confidential session will give you the experience of coaching. To schedule your session, call 405-341-3216.

    Quotes of the Month

    When you’re in the muck you can only see muck. If you somehow manage to float above it, you still see the muck but you see it from a different perspective. And you see other things too. That’s the consolation of philosophy.”
             --- David Cronenberg

    “You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.”
             --- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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