E- Zine - July 2006



Tips to Outclass Your Competition - Small talk or tall talk?

Small talk is what we say to another person to be polite and to make a connection with that person. To be successful in any setting, you must master small talk and communication skills. The best way to learn is to practice. At your next event, practice these tips to gain social savvy and confidence.
  • Take the focus off yourself. Be a “there you are” rather than a “here I am” person.
  • Approach a person standing alone, or groups of three or more. Avoid approaching two people in deep conversation
  • Smile and make eye contact before speaking.
  • Show interest by asking open-ended questions: who, what, when, where, why, and how.
  • Make only two or three statements before allowing the other person to speak.
  • Listen to the other person’s story.
    Listen to the other person’s story first.
    Listen to the other person’s whole story first.
  • Give your complete attention to the other person. Do not look around the room while talking to them.
  • Avoid gossip or supporting the flow of gossip. It makes you look bad and creates mistrust.
  • To end the conversation, extend your hand for a handshake, say the person’s name, and tell them you enjoyed talking with them.

    Your people skills are the most important skills you have and contribute to 85% of your success. If you want to learn the elements of making a favorable impression so you can always be at your best, call 405-341-3216 and beat your Competition to the Bottom Line.

    The Coach’s Corner – Boundaries are NOT rejections.

    Boundary – a thing that serves to mark the limits of something; the limit itself, a dividing line. Boundaries are NOT rejections, and yet people sacrifice their time, energy, money, and emotional availability to please others. You cannot blame others and you cannot claim to be the victim. You may be the victim, but the victim of your own self-sacrificing. Remember, when you say “no,” you are not saying “no” to a person, but to a request. If you have the disease to please, identify where you want to set boundaries, and say, “yes” to your own priorities and needs.

    Coaching questions:
  • When have I not set boundaries?
  • What are the boundaries I want/need to set?
  • What are the common situations where I could use a boundary?
  • What can I do and say when that situation comes up?
  • How can I rehearse this new behavior? (talk to yourself in the mirror, journal, tape record yourself, role-play with a friend)
  • How will I feel when I strengthen my boundaries?
  • What’s stopping me?

    Boundaries are healthy, normal, and a necessary part of life. When you stand up for yourself, others respect you, and you improve the quality of your life. If you need help defining and setting boundaries, call today for your no-obligation, coaching session. This 30-minute confidential session will give you the experience of coaching. To schedule your session, call 405-341-3216.

    Quotes of the Month

    "View every action as either an act of love or a cry for love"
             --- Author Unknown

    “Who would you be if you dropped your complaints?”
             --- Alan Cohen

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