E- Zine - November 2005



Tips to Outclass Your Competition – Connect with Conversation

Being able to carry on a good conversation is a vital skill in both business and social arenas. Every time you have a conversation with another person, you have a chance to expand new and exciting connections. Improve your conversation skills by following these tips.
  • Don’t be a blabbermouth. Keep the conversation balanced, shifting back and forth like the ebb and flow of the tide coming in and going out.
  • Don’t be me-centered by stealing the conversation someone else brings up with a “me-too.” Forget yourself for the moment.
  • Do be a good listener. Wait before you talk. Patiently pausing for 3 – 5 seconds after the other person has finished makes them feel heard and avoids interruption of thought.
  • Do ask open-ended questions. “Are you” or “Do you” questions will give you a yes/no answer and may kill the conversation. “What” and “How” questions will keep the conversation flowing.

    When observing someone making conversational mistakes, ask yourself, “Am I guilty of that same behavior?” Being aware is the first step. Changing the behavior is the next step to honing your conversation skills. Being a good conversationalist is a gift that draws others to you, and builds lasting relationships.

    The Coach’s Corner – Be a Lake

    An aging Hindu master grew tired of his apprentice complaining. One morning, he sent him for some salt. When the apprentice returned, the master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it.

    “How does it taste?” the master asked. “Bitter,” spit the apprentice.

    The master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake, and once the apprentice swirled his handful of salt in the water, the old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”

    As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the master asked, “How does it taste?” “Fresh,” remarked the apprentice. “Do you taste the salt?” asked the master. “No,” said the young man.

    At this the master sat beside this serious young man who so reminded him of himself and took his hands, offering, “The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains exactly the same. However, the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things. Stop being a glass. Become a lake.”

    Coaching questions:
  • What is the lesson/gift in my problem?
  • What would happen is this problem weren’t there?
  • What really matters?
  • What am I grateful for?
  • How can I take care of myself?
  • Who can support me?

    If you are stuck in a glass of salt water, a coach can be your 3rd eye and help you enlarge your sense of things. Call today for your no-obligation, coaching session. This 30-minute confidential session will give you the experience of coaching. To schedule your session, call 405-341-3216.

    Quotes of the Month

    "The better part of happiness is to wish to be what you are.”
             --- Desiderius Erasmus

    "Real power is measured by how much you can let things be".
             --- Henry David Thoreau

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